Parents' Evening Questions: What to Ask the Teacher

The best parents’ evening questions are short and specific: “How are they getting on compared with where you’d expect?”, “What’s the one thing to work on at home?”, “Who do they play with?”, and “Is there anything you’re worried about?” Slots are often only a few minutes, so pick three or four questions, write them down, and ask the most important one first. If you’re separated from your child’s other parent, you can ask for your own appointment. Schools in England must treat all parents equally unless a court order says otherwise.

Autumn-term parents’ evenings usually fall in October and November. Here’s how to make those few minutes count when you’re doing it on your own.

Before you go: ten minutes at home

Ask your child first. “What’s your favourite lesson?”, “What’s hard?”, “Who do you sit with?” Children often tell you things in the car or at bedtime that they’d never say at the table. If something comes up, that’s your first question.

Then look at what you’ve got: reading record, homework, any recent reports or messages from school. You’re looking for one thing that’s going well and one you’re not sure about.

Write your questions on your phone. When the teacher starts talking and you’re perched on a tiny chair, they will go out of your head.

The questions, by what you want to know

You won’t get through all of these. Choose the three or four that matter most for your child this term.

How they’re doing

How are they getting on compared with where you’d expect at this point in the year?
What are they doing well at?
What’s the one thing they find hardest right now?
Are they in a group or set for reading, phonics or maths, and why?
What should they be able to do by the end of this year?

How they’re coping

Who do they play with, and do they seem happy at break and lunchtime?
How do they behave in class, and do they ask for help when they’re stuck?
Do they seem tired or distracted at any time of day?
Is there anything that’s worried you?

That tiredness question is worth asking. If the answer is “yes, most mornings”, look at what’s happening at bedtime. My school-night bedtime routine has the sleep hours by age.

What you can do at home

What’s the single most useful thing I can do at home?
How much reading should we be doing, and how should I hear them read?
Is homework the right amount, or is it taking too long?
Is there anything they’re missing because of how our week works?

That last question matters in a one-adult house. If you work late two nights a week and reading only happens five nights out of seven, say so. A good teacher would rather plan around real life than assume.

If you have concerns

Have you noticed anything that might need extra support?
Who’s the SENCo, and how do I talk to them?
What happens next, and when will we speak again?

Don’t try to sort a big worry in a short slot. Ask for a separate meeting. “Can we book a proper time to talk about this?” is a perfectly normal thing to say.

Tell them what’s going on at home

This is the question you don’t ask. It’s the thing you tell them. Teachers can’t take into account what they don’t know. If there’s been a separation, a house move, a new baby, an illness or a change in who does the school run, a one-line mention helps them understand what they’re seeing.

You don’t have to give details. “Things have been unsettled at home this term, so let me know if you see any wobbles” is enough.

If you and the other parent are separated

This is the part no generic list covers, and it’s where single parents get stuck.

The Department for Education’s guidance for schools, Understanding and dealing with issues relating to parental responsibility (England, last updated 24 August 2023, read on 11 October 2026), says:

Parents with parental responsibility have the same rights to “receive information, such as school reports” and to “be informed about meetings involving the child”.
“School and local authority staff must treat all parents equally, unless a court order limits a parent’s ability to make educational decisions, participate in school life or receive information about their child.”
A school doesn’t need the resident parent’s consent to send the non-resident parent their child’s educational information.

The guidance doesn’t say schools must run separate parents’ evening slots. So ask the office what they can do. Two slots are often kinder for everyone, including the teacher, who doesn’t have to referee.

So, practically:

Ask the office for a separate appointment if sitting together isn’t going to work. Ask early, because slots fill up.
Expect the other parent to get the same information. If they have parental responsibility, that’s the law, not the school taking sides.
If there’s a court order that limits what the other parent can know or do, make sure the school has a copy. The guidance says schools should note any court order in the pupil’s record.
Keep your slot about your child. Five minutes with the teacher isn’t the place for the co-parenting argument.

If you can’t get there

Some schools offer phone or video appointments, or a slot at a different time. If you’re on a late shift or have no one to watch younger children, ask. If you have to bring a younger sibling, a quiet snack and a book will help.

If you really can’t attend, email the teacher your two most important questions and ask for a short reply. That’s often more useful than a rushed five minutes anyway.

After parents’ evening

Tell your child one good thing the teacher said, word for word if you can. It’s the bit they’ll remember. Then pick the single thing to work on at home and make it part of the week, like ten minutes of reading before the school morning routine starts, or spellings in the bath.

FAQ

What should I ask at primary school parents’ evening?

Ask how your child is doing compared with where the teacher would expect, what they find hardest, who they play with, and the one thing you can do at home to help. Three or four questions is plenty for a short slot.

How long is a parents’ evening appointment?

It varies by school, but slots are often only a few minutes. Write your questions down and ask the most important one first. If you need longer, ask for a separate meeting.

Can separated parents have separate parents’ evening appointments?

You can ask. DfE guidance doesn’t require separate slots, but it does say schools must treat all parents with parental responsibility equally and keep them informed about meetings involving their child, unless a court order says otherwise.

Does the school have to tell my ex how our child is doing?

If they have parental responsibility, generally yes. DfE guidance says parents have the same rights to school reports and information, and schools don’t need the resident parent’s consent to share it, unless a court order limits this.

What if I can’t make parents’ evening?

Ask the school for a phone or video appointment or another time. If that’s not possible, email the teacher your main questions.